El Roi- The God Who See's Me

My El Roi tattoo

On November 7th, 2024, I sat in a cold gym, talking with countless sets of parents about their children- my students. Parent-teacher conferences: everyone knows about them and has experienced them, but very few know the perspective of the teacher- I can tell you, it's exhausting. For six hours, I sat in one place, talking, talking my tongue off, and listening intently to the parents of the 113 wonderful students I had in my classes. Active conferencing occupied not every minute; however, random spurts of breaks sprouted about the night. During those times, they were not long enough to lesson plan or get anything productive done, so instead, I decided to journal to God.

I journaled throughout the night, singing praises to our Father and asking for him to continue to intervene in my life and speak to me. After about four pages of on-and-off writing, I flipped to the next blank page and noticed that the typical lined pages ended and were replaced by blank pages. Unsure of whether I would still journal on these blank pages, the words "El Roi" in a cursive-handwriting script become painted in my brain- a vision from God. Without thought, I began to sketch this vision into my journal. El Roi was a word I had heard of before, I knew it was another name for God, but I did not know much more than that. When I did a quick Google search, I was reminded that it means The God who sees me.

Journal Entry from November 7th, 2024

It has been no secret that I have been fearing whether or not I would ever be able to conceive a child, especially with all of the struggles my body had gone through in the last year. At this point in my life, I found myself pleading senselessly to the Lord, begging Him to hear and answer me for healing and for a child. I had begun dedicating time daily to reading the Word and spending time talking to God, but sometimes, I questioned whether or not he heard me or saw me.

That Sunday evening, a dear friend and sister-in-Christ messaged me randomly, saying she felt the Holy Spirit prompt her to tell me El Roi. At this point, I had told not a soul of my El Roi drawing, so I knew that this was truly encouragement from the Lord.

In Genesis chapter 16, we are brought to Hagar- Abraham and Sarah's slave- who had run away because she was tired of Sarah's harsh mistreatment. An Angel of the Lord finds Hagar in the wilderness and asks her where she is going, to which Hagar admits to running away from her Mistress, Sarah. The Angel of the Lord then tells her, “'I will multiply your descendants exceedingly so that they shall not be counted for multitude.' And the Angel of the LORD said to her: 'Behold, you are with child, and you shall bear a son. You shall call his name Ishmael because the LORD has heard your affliction'" (16:10-11).

Not only did the Lord promise Hagar protection, but gave the promise of blessings that would continue, as her unborn son would be the father of uncounted numbers of descendants (Enduring Word).

Hagar then looks to the Angel of the Lord and calls him "You-Are-the-God-Who-Sees," which directly translates to El Roi in Hebrew.

I believe that the Lord was telling me in those moments that he, in fact, saw me, heard all of my prayers, and sat with me while I wept. The comfort that this brought me at that moment and every moment since has been overwhelming. For the first time in a very long time, I have been able to live in peace, knowing that my God truly IS in control and that He completely sees and knows me.

In December I decided to get El Roi, His promise, tatooed on my bicep. For me, it is a daily reminder that he sees me today, yesterday and tomorrow. Everytime I look at my tattoo, I remember the vision he gave me and the timliness of his word. It is an ecourgament that someday His promises of children, and all others, will come to me.

Abba, You are SO good! In the chaos and storms that I face, when the enemy whispers his lies in my ear, when I weep in grief over what I do not have, you see me and know me and you KNOW what is coming. Thank you for being such a good and loving father, for making and keeping promises to me. I pray that you will reveal yourself to all those who are reading this post, and that they may know that you see them and know them. Lord God, speak to them, bless them in their dreams, and allow them to see visions of the promises and goodness You have for them. Amen!