My Body Can do Hard Things

For the greater half of the last two years, I’ve focused on all of the things my body could not do. With that mindset, I have gravitated towards feelings of worthlessness, shame, anxiety and anger. Instead of celebrating all that I had overcame, I have instead hyper fixated on the things that I could not control and fix on my own, subsequently missing out on so many great moments and accomplishments. In other words, I have focused too much on what SHOULD happen, and not what HAS happened. 

My body can do hard things, like really hard things. I can squat double my body weight and then lay in silence waiting for the Lord to speak to me. I can self soothe after a full day of chaotic, teenage wrangling, and then immediately take a 60-minute hot yoga class. I have overcome horrible terrorism trauma, skin reeling anorexia nervosa, my reproductive organs failing to function correctly, and so much more. Yet I have failed to honor these things. I tell myself daily, “I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength,” (Philippians 4:13) rather I fail to recognize, celebrate or honor all that I can do. 

Today I caught myself asking God, “when will this waiting end?” And while I meant one thing, the Lord responded with what I believe is about another, “Right now, just choose joy.” I do not have to keep overlooking the everyday feats and moments of hard that I’ve overcome, I can choose to live in the moment now. Because truly, if I do not start now, when will I? While I desire a child, will one satisfy the hurt in my heart? Or will I immediately overlook and long for when my family is complete? Just like I quickly overlooked the miracle of God healing my reproductive system after 10+ months of draught, and longed/hoped/pleaded for a child to reside. 

So today I choose to live in the now and enjoy every little moment of my life. Instead of flipping to anxious thoughts of what could be wrong, or shame over what my body cannot do, I will choose to live in the peace that God’s timing is best, and his grace and faithfulness is enough for me.