My God Healed Me This Morning 7/26/2024

Testimony time, warning it’s long:

In October I decided to go off of a medicine that I had been on for 7 years, one that would help my acne, regulate my hormones, etc. I’m guessing you can guess what medication I’m alluding to. I didn’t feel like myself anymore, like a girl trapped in a body she didn’t recognize and certainly couldn’t control.

I assumed my body would be out of wack for a little bit, but I didn’t expect what was coming for me. October passed, and then November, and December but my body was still not regulating. It wasn’t working the way a women’s body should. My emotions were out of wack, my cycles were non-existent, and I still felt like a person stuck in a shell. I began to panic; Gan and I want kids, and I began to start questioning if that would ever be possible. My doctor told me that three months is normal, no sweat, and there’s nothing to worry about. 

In January I finally got some relief. I was able to breathe again. I started opening up to my family more about my fears, as well as some mental struggles I had been having, and my body started to slowly function again. February was the same. It certainly wasn’t normal, but a step in the right direction. 

Then March came around, and April, May…. and nothing. My body wasn’t working again the way it was supposed to, still no cycles. 

Finally, in May, right before the school year ended, my doctor confirmed that this in fact was not normal, and that I needed to come in for tests. 

“You might have endometriosis, or are going into early menopause, or have ovarian failure,” is what my doctor told me after my first visit. My jaw dropped. I’m only 24, and I might have ovarian failure? I had never wept so hard in my life. I’m thankful for my mom who prayed and walked me through this week. I don’t know how I would have survived without her advice, calming words and support. One week later, immediately after I finished the last day of school, I headed to my doctor’s office to have some tests run.Everything came back… normal. I was healthy. It certainly ruled out the ladder three issues my doctor warned me about, but it left us with no answers. 

I was prescribed different medications and more tests that would surely get my body back to normal. Nope- if anything it sent my body more out of wack. I broke out like crazy, like I was 13 all over again. Iykyk, it was bad. With no answers and my body still not working, the doctor decided to run an ultrasound. The results showed that my ovaries were covered in cysts, more than the average woman’s ovaries have. I saw them with my two eyes. I cried and ran to Gannon and my mom. My doctor told me I likely have PCOS, and that I’m not ovulating, and since I’m not ovulating it would be hard to have children on my own- but not impossible. 

I immediately rebuked that diagnosis. Don’t misquote me, it wasn’t that I didn’t want to accept that I had PCOS and I would struggle with the repercussions of it, it’s that I didn’t believe I had PCOS. With all the anxiety I had felt for months on end, I had so much peace with this. 

June finished up, and we landed in July. My faith has grown immeasurably. I have spent so much time in the word, praying to my God, worshipping Him, that the fear of what was going on and what would be wasn’t bothering me. It wasn’t always easy, I mean take a look at one of my prayer journals. Throughout the course of these nine months my prayers went from “where are you God?!?” to “heal me, now!” to “thank you for allowing me to walk through this season, for refining me and growing me,” to simply just talking to Him like I would a friend. 

Last night, in the middle of prayer journaling and working on a devotion that the women at my church are working through, I heard the Lord speaking to me.“ If your body never works the same, if you’re never able to bare your own children, am I still enough for you?” Woah. This took me by surprise, “Yes, God. ”He asked me again, and again I said yes. I began praying and repeating, “if my body never works the same, and I can never have my own children, You are still enough for me! ”He then asked me to sit down and pray with Gannon. Gannon was playing video games, in the middle of a game, but he paused it and prayed with me. Again I repeated that God would still be enough for us. 

The night went on, we went to bed, woke up and started our day. All of a sudden, around 11 am I felt queasy, and ran to the bathroom. 

I’m trying not to be too TMI here, but this is important: My body was working. After nine long, painful, unknown, scary months MY BODY WAS WORKING.I screamed, Gannon came running, and I yelled “I’ve got to call my mom!!” 

For nine long months I was waiting for that moment. For nine long months, I dreamt about texting all the strong women of God in my life that he had prayed for healing over me. For nine long months, I believed my God would do it again, and He DID!! Thank you, Jehovah Rapha- my God who heals me!

For all of you that read this whole post, I hope this story is a testament that God hears you and sees you! That his hand is on this very moment. He is with you in the waiting room, while you take each and every med, as you cry yourself to sleep at night. He holds every single tear in his hand. He knows your fears and each desire of your heart. If your waiting to be healed, if you’re longing for change, keep pressing and believing that our God will do it, because if He did it for me, He will certainly do it for you!!

The journey isn’t over yet- it’s just beginning.